Masturbation at the Office: How to Do (and Not Do) It

When a man is in the mood for a little masturbation, he likes to be able to indulge himself freely – something that may not be very possible when he’s at the office. Of course, if a man works alone at home, there may be little in the way of dropping trousers and indulging in a quick (or lengthy) fap. But if he works with others, personalized and hands-on penis care may require a bit more planning.

As with everything, there’s a right way and a wrong way to approach masturbation while at work. The following tips can help a man gain release and relief in a manner that is more appropriate than simply whipping it out and going to town.

The men’s room. Use it.

In most cases, the best (and safest) way for a guy to masturbate at the office is to excuse himself, head to the bathroom and wait until behind a locked stall door to begin fondling. In addition to granting a man privacy, he has toilet paper right at hand to wipe the semen-spattered hand (and clean up the floor, as may be the case). However, it’s good to remember that a bathroom stall does not guarantee total privacy. Enthusiastic masturbation carries with it strong sounds (usually associated with panting and rubbing) which can “give the game away” to anyone else who happens to be in the room at the time. So keeping it quiet is advised. If a man tends to moan and groan loudly when he ejaculates, he needs to be sure he is totally alone before indulging.

Some men enjoy masturbating at the urinal, but there is clearly less privacy associated with this option. In addition, if a man ejaculates at the urinal just as another man enters, he has little opportunity to wipe away the ejaculate without being noticed.

A reminder: many men get very flushed while masturbating. For such men, allowing a few minutes after orgasm to let the redness leave their faces is a good idea before returning to work.

At the desk

Some men opt to masturbate directly at their desks. Unless a man has his own office with a door that can be locked, this is generally very risky behavior. Even if a guy is working late at night and is sure he is the only person around, he might still get surprised with his manhood in his hands by a member of the janitorial staff.

Even with a locked door, desk-based masturbation can be a bad idea. For those who indulge, they should do so in a fashion that makes recovery as quick as possible. For example, don’t strip naked; simply unzip and handle. This makes it easier to prepare oneself if there is an unexpected knock at the door.

Computer care

If a man fancies online pornography while masturbating, it’s important to remember that most bosses have some means of monitoring what websites are visited on company computers. Just because a company firewall allows a person to visit adult sites doesn’t mean that information is not being observed by someone in authority.


Keeping a box of tissues nearby is essential for clean-up from in-office handling. Paper towels tend to make a bit more noise than one might desire; tissues are more discreet.

Masturbation at the office can carry risks, but many men engage in this activity on occasion – and find themselves more productive for the opportunity to relieve themselves. The experience is best when the manhood is healthy, so regular use of a quality penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) is advised. Sometimes when furtively masturbating at work, a man may handle his member a bit roughly, in response to the need to get it over with quickly. This can in turn lead to a diminishment of sensation, which negatively impacts pleasure from penile fondling. Using a crème with neuroprotective acetyl L-carnitine helps repair peripheral nerve damage and restore lost sensitivity. It also helps if the crème contains alpha lipoic acid, a potent antioxidant. Alpha lipoic acid and acetyl L-carnitine work together synergistically; their combined effects help maintain optimal penis health.